so much pain, i can't take it anymore ~

Ugh, ano bang problema ko? Sinusubukan kong maging masaya, pero bakit ganon? I don’t know what’s happening to me. Am I going carzy? I don’t know. There’s a feeling inside me na parang sinasabi, “umiyak ka na, alam kong di mo na kayang itago.” Pero baket? Ano bang nagayayri sa kin? Alam ko, wala naman akong problema, pero there’s something that bothers me. Sometimes, I just wanna cry but I can’t. Sometimes, I want to give up, but I can’t. I don’t even know what’s the problem with me. Ugh, there’s something in me that makes me wanna cry. Baket nga ba ako nagkakaganito? Baket feeling ko, lahat against na sa kin? Feeling ko, wala na. I dunno,maybe I’m just over reacting. Pero, baket parang ang sama ng feeling ko? Parang ang bigat. Parng ang hirap kayanin. Di ko din naman alam kunh bakit ako nagkakaganito. Naguguluhan ako sa mga nangyayari. Ewan ko, ayoko ng mandamay ng iba sa nangyayari sa kin. I feel sorry for myself. Siguro, masyado na kong nag iinarte kaya ko nagkakaganito. Ewan, baket ansket? Feeling ko, unti unti akong pinapatay. Baket sa lahat lahat ng pwedeng maging problema, baket eto pa? teka, anu nga ba talaga problema ko? Ewan ko, feeling ko, araw araw nag gi give up mundo sa kin. Kasabay ng pagkagulo ng utak ko yung pag guho ng mundo sa harap ko. Ewan ko, frustrated ako these days. Siguro, pagod. Pero hindi rin, hindi na siguro ako ung kagaya ng dati na kayang kontrolin yung nararamdaman kong kalungkutan. Di ko na ma tolerate yung pain. Ewan ko, hindi ko din naiintindihan sarili ko kung baket ako nagkakaganito. Kaya ko pa namang magpakasaya di ba? Hai nako, nababaliw na ako. Bakit ba ko nasasaktan ng sobra sobra ng di ko naman alam yung dahilan? Ngayon, tanong ko sa sarili ko, may problema ka bang talaga o nag iinarte ka lang para mapansin? Well, sorry a? di ko na kasi talaga kaya. nNahihirapan ako. Tatahimik na lang muna ako hanggang sa mahanap ko kung ano ba talaga yung dahilan. Tatahimik na lang ako, yun lan ang paraan. Paraan para ma tolerate yung pain na to. Ewan!

BORED ~

i was so bored so i ended up using our computer. actually, i shouldn't use our computer in the first place. the main reason is, i'm doing my home works. but for the fact that i'm so lazy, i ended up here, surfing the net. so yea, i was so bored. i should have just finished my assignments but i'll post a blog entry instead. boredom really kills. actually, when i get bored, i usually dream of something that can only happen whn pigs start to fly which means, IMPOSSIBLE! yeah, i know. sound weird right? well, i dunno. and you know what, i really hate noli me tangere. i mean our teacher in noli. she gave us so many assignments and lectures that is so very hard to finish. nakakatamad pang tapusin. actually, i'm not finished with it yet. i'm goinh to stic the pictures tomorrow early in the morning at school with sunbae. and another thing that freaks me out is my math worksheets. i'm not finish with it either. it's because I'M LAZY. yeah i know. i'm miss lazy. whatever. i'd rather study the rap parts of heartquake than finish my math worksheets. it's so hard and it kills me. another thing that freaks me out is i don't know what i'm going to do tomorrow(monday, november 16) in CL time. di ako umattend ng practice eh. so paano yun? wala akong grade? ugh! the last thing that freaks me out is the MTAP sessions whicn is so BORING! so many boring and annoying things freaks me out. this things always FREAKS me out. it kills me. ugh! i don't know what to do. i just can't get rid of this laziness. oh, i hope i could finish my homeworks asap and i hope i'll know what am i going to do tomorrow for CL time. i hope i can overcome this boring MTAP sessions. and the last time i'm hoping is that i wish i can already get rid of this laziness. (sorry sa grammar na baluktot) [[:

Excited ~

galing kme khpon ng sm. kmeng hwaiting. aun, ngpnta kme dun para mgpa gcash para dun sa inorder namen thru online shop. haha, tas nalibre dn c sunbae keia masaia. aun, eh ung inorder namen shirts. not just a simple shirt. A SUJU SHIRT! haha. so excited. sna nga magawa na kagad eh. inaantai nlan namen ung text nung seller kpag ok n ung shirts. i just can't wait tologo. pero khpon, grbe, halos 3 hours ang biyahe ko at nka apat na jip ako dahil hinted ko pa c sunabe, tas trapik pa tas umikot p ung jip keia sa tollgate nko naibaba. pero ok lan, masaia naman eh. dme kong pgkakagstusan. pgkatpos nung tshirt, bibili p uye kme ng shirts. tpos 4 na album. 2 sa suju, 2 sa shinee. tpos ung magazine pa. ang habol ko lan nomon dun, ung poster. haha. sna mkaipon ako kagad. haha, update nlan uye ako pg dmating n ung shirt or d keia nkabili nko ng mga dpat kong bilhin. [: